My advice to new fathers (After having 2 kids and divorced at that)

I’m not big on life advice and recommendations, as I do believe that every situation is different and everyone knows best related to for example their relation and situation.

But today I want to make an exception to this rule, as I want to share a few very big lessons from my own history.

  1. Always support the mother of your kids. This is not a time to discuss and fight. She has carried your baby for 9 months and went through hellish pains and a fucked up situation probably to have the baby. (no person like it to be touched by like 10 persons in their private parts while giving birth)
  2. The kid is from both of you. Make sure you take at least half of the work related to the kid on you. And this doesn’t include working in an office “for the kid”
  3. Start therapy, like yesterday. You’ll need to adapt yourself, your relation but as well your role to the new situation . You’ll need to improve yourself before you can be a great role model for your kid.
  4. Hug and tell them everyday that you love them. If you think you say and do it already often, double it.
  5. Be there for the family. Probably you’ll lose out on a few job opportunities because of this, but if you can handle it financially, that’s a price I’m willing to pay. In the long run you’ll get a lot of rewards from it. Not directly financially maybe, but for sure in quality of life.
  6. Life will be fucked up sometimes and you’ll feel alone, empty and exhausted. This is normal. And that’s why you need to start with therapy like yesterday. So you’ll find ways how to deal with this and make sure you can turn it around.

My story on all of this: I have done all these things not at all or to late. I’m now working on itwith the help of theraphy. This to make sure it won’t happen again. But I should have done that since the beginning.